Social Drift

We’re a little obsessed with being noticed these days.

I use social media a lot. More accurately, I drift there. Bored? Facebook. Lonely? Messenger. Often, I’ll watch YouTube videos with commentary just to feel like I’m involved in another person’s life. In all of these things, I guess I’m looking for significance, and even deeper than that, knowing I'm significant because I’m loved.

There are layers of motives beneath my drift towards social media. I push away real life at times by engaging in these sites instead of asking myself what I’m really feeling in those moments, and instead of having the courage to answer.

Some of us might see unhappiness as the problem. But it’s okay to admit to ourselves, and to God as well, how we feel. Lonely, restless, and unsatisfied people can go to God and admit safely that they can’t make themselves feel safe, secure, and happy. We can go to Him and be honest.

Sometimes I go to God halfheartedly, feel nothing, and think, “He doesn’t make me feel as satisfied as these other things.” In the moment, I want them.

However, part of honouring God as God of all is letting go of things that don’t compare to Him – putting down our toys and running to Him for a hug. I find that when I am in His arms, He does satisfy – that He’s way better than anything else. I can’t have ultimate satisfaction in both my toys and in God. I have to pick one; and I find that in surrendering to God, what I find more than makes up for what I’ve put aside or lost. In fact, when I have a healthy relationship with God – when I come to Him in honesty and surrender to His way – I start to relate better to other people. My relationships mean more. I’m not looking for love in the wrong places. Even so, this is always a process, and God has lots of grace for when we fall down and revert. We just come back to Him, surrendering again. Being honest and asking Him to change our hearts in ways that we cannot.

I think the remedy to wanting to be noticed is being safe in God’s love, and knowing He loves you most. You are someone in His eyes, and because of that, in comparison at least, it doesn’t matter if anyone else thinks you’re someone. Conversely, even if other people don’t like you, the love of God lifts us up in spite of that. Knowing He loves me is what’s most important, and at times it drowns out everything else.

Sometimes I still feel the pain of life. In fact, it’s very real. But God’s love is a refuge. A sanctuary, if you will.

I will probably never be a notable YouTuber. Let’s be real… their fans aren’t really friends anyways. It’s cool to connect with random people on the internet – to realize that there’s a real person on the other end of that keyboard. But you can’t have a thousand friends at once. I’ll probably never have thousands of followers on Twitter. Some moments I find myself actually wanting those things, as if that would solve my need for love. As if being noticed by many can replace a real relationship with One.